Don't underestimate the power of strangers. When you're down, a genuine smile from a passerby at the supermarket can bring you up. A look of exasperation on a haggard person with a sign made from cardboard can break your heart. The rants of an impassioned individual can infuriate you. A former stranger made the weight I've been hauling around feel a little bit lighter last week.
I take a deep breath as I walk up to the bar doors. My breath escapes as a cloud of vapor from my lips. It is freezing outside. I can't tell if my hands are shaking from the cold or the nerves. Don't be an idiot, you aren't that cold. You haven't been in the night air for more than a minute. I walk through the doors and begin to look around realizing I have nothing to look for. I only told him I'd be wearing "The Scarf." What an idiot. Couldn't have just gone with "Hey, I'll be wearing a gray coat," could you? A man is standing in the waiting area but I hardly notice as the hostess asks, "Are you meeting someone?" I smile and unintentionally ignore her as I scan the bar. I turn to my left and see the man, our eyes meet and he raises his eyebrows. It's him.
Our initial exchange is met with a friendly hug. Although this is the first time I've seen him, we've been friends for a while and he knows my biggest secret-my sexuality. We walk over and grab a table at the bar. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. He nods, "The scarf." I laugh. After that, the conversation begins to flow.
We sit in the bar talking like old friends. Nothing feels awkward or forced. We talk freely about our sexuality- Did anyone around you hear any of that?, the Twitter community to which we both belong and even our real lives. Somehow, I'm able to fully commit to this friendship and start to open up. "You guys want anything else? Last call," our waitress says. Last call? How long have we been here? What seemed like a short conversation has lasted two hours.
The conversation moves outside into the cold. The temperature has dropped but we decide a picture is necessary to share with our Twitter friends. Shot after shot, we try to get it right. The angles are wrong, the picture is blurry, that concept was dumb #gayboyproblems anyone? By the time we take the perfect shot, we are both shaking from the cold but laughing at the memory we've just created. We part ways with another hug and an affirmation that another meeting will happen.
I walk back to my car with a smile on my face. It really is getting better.
Don't underestimate the power of strangers. A stranger can easily turn into a trusted friend to share your journey. I'm learning that this road can be even worse without some support along the way. This meeting was a big step for me in a lot of ways and I'm happy to have come this far.
From my closet door to yours, don't be afraid to let a stranger become a friend.
